Thursday, 8 November 2012

Smug mummy warning!

I have come to the conclusion that the one fundamental law of motherhood is that as soon as you allow yourself to think that you have something sorted, it will all go horribly wrong.  You don't even have to say it out loud.  You just need to indulge in one teeny tiny moment of sanctimonious smugness about your superior mothering skills and then bang! It collapses around your ears.

Two months ago I blogged all "miss know it all" about settling in childcare, which was inevitably followed by littl'un becoming very unsettled at nursery.  She has had phases of being upset in the mornings before that I've put down to moving up from the baby room, potty training and a change in key worker but this time I am rather at a loss.

The little girl who used to march happily into nursery with a "see you later alligator, in a while crocodile" now has a complete melt down every morning when she gets to nursery with a combination of complete tantrums and panic.  She seems to be reasonably happy during the day but then has another complete meltdown at home time.  In the morning she screams that she doesn't want to come to nursery and in the evening she screams that she doesn't want to come home and that she wants to sleep at nursery in the book corner!

It's been going on for about a month now and is getting more and more distressing for both of us.  It's pretty hard to keep your cool when you literally have to chase your child around the room to get her to go home in the evening!

I've talked about it with nursery and we're trying various things but as I say we're really at a loss - she certainly has tantrums at times outside nursery and like all 2 year olds can winge for Britain but is generally pretty flexible and takes lots of different situations very confidently in her stride.  So this is a heart felt plea for advice for anyone who has gone through anything similar.  Did you get to the bottom of what triggered it and did you find anyway of helping your child cope?

7 comments:

  1. I never had these issues with my eldest, he was always happy to go to nursery, and at the moment both my little ones seem fine going to creche once a week while I do a course, so I've not faced this problem. Could it be she's just reached a typical 2 year old attention seeking phase and is finding the nursery drop off and pick up an ideal time to try to push your buttons? Or maybe its fear kicking in, worried you're not coming back and then when you pick her up she's showing you she's cross with you? Sorry I dont have any particular advice, I guess consistent reassurance is all you can do. Hope she settles soon xx

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  2. It sounds like a phase to me. I bet it in a month or so it will be back to "see you later alligator."

    Thank you so much for linking up to the Sunday Parenting Party!

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    1. They're just so exhausting these "phases" aren't they - you just think you've got a routine going and then they go through a sudden massive development burst and it's all in tatters!

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  3. Toddlers are in a transitional phase of development, one minute they cling to mommy, the next minute they are pushing mommy away. As for the drop off, are there any other children crying in the morning when a parent leaves? This can be a domino affect! Soon other children cry at drop off time. Also, has she stopped napping? It could be she needs an earlier bedtime. When children cried at our school at drop off time we asked the parent to say a quick goodbye, one kiss/hug then leave right away. As for pick up, can you call ahead and have the staff get her ready? Maybe a family member can get her earlier in the day? Good luck, she get back to normal when she transitions out of toddler-hood!

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    1. We've adjusted the day and she goes in a little bit later which means she can have a sit down breakfast at home and it's less hurried and then I don't pick her up until absolutely everything is over so she doesn't think she's missing out on anything. Nursery have also been really good doing some one on one activities with her e.g. writing stories and created a little routine board so she can move a picture of herself around the board between activities as she was getting stressed by the transition from one activity / place to another

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  4. I have no idea how to solve the upset in the mornings. We were fine with our son until nursery decided to use the front door instead of the back door. Now instead of going into the cloak room and having a gentle transition as we help take off coat and shoes and change into slippers and say good bye before he sees all his friends, we go straight into mayhem and noise and confusion. The result has been our rather happy to go to nursery son has a melt down at every drop off. Little changes make a huge difference to tiny people don't they. Thanks for sharing this on Sunday Parenting Party I'm featuring it this week on my SPP post (you can grab an "i was featured" button from my button page if you'd like one)

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    1. It can be the smallest things can't it. We've adapted our routine - http://mumsmakelists.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/a-new-routine.html - and this seems to have done the trick for the moment. (Fingers & toes crossed!) Big thanks for sharing on SPP x

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