Now some people would have you believe that if you immaculately fold your t-shirts your life will somehow be clutter free!
Motherhood? Crisply, folded t-shirts? Really?? It’s not happening is it?
So if you’re drowning in clutter, or – like me – you’re a yo yo de-clutterer …
AND you have precisely no time … AND you’re ever so slightly palpitating already about Christmas … here is how to declutter fast.
1. Wang the Wellies!
I don’t know about you, but we always have a trail of 5 old sizes of wellies scattered around the door ways.
(For you non-Brits, Wellies are rain boots.)
Plus last year’s trainers (sneakers), sandals and flip flops (thongs).
(Small child’s you understand. My single pair of each, are ancient!)
Now these in their own right, they’re not a big thing.
But psychologically they are. Believe me.
If every time you enter your house you face a wall of wellies that don’t even fit the teddies, you will lose the will to live!
And besides, you will need that space in the hall for the pile of random
crap stuff you shift out of the living room to make room for the Christmas tree.
So wang the wellies now! It will take minutes. And it will feel good.
2. Wheel Out The Wheelies
There’s a good chance Santa will bring wheels of some sort.
Bikes, balance bikes, scooters, skates etc.
And you’ve almost certainly got these already, in smaller versions plus buggies, car seat wheels, trikes, push alongs, pull alongs, trip alongs etc etc.
So you really do need to apply the one in, FIVE out rule here!
Do anything you can to convince small people to pass them on. Because, despite all claims, they don’t fold up properly, and have poltergeist like powers to trip you up when exiting the house at speed, i.e always.
3. Get Kids To Give
Involving the kids and doing anything fast – apart from cleaning teeth because they don’t clean them – is obviously a contradiction in terms.
But however practised you are in the arts of declutter deception aka secretly chucking stuff out without telling your family – and I am a master – you have in the end to convince your kids clutter is baaaaad!!
If for no other reason, than it turns their mother into a monster.
But actually – from very young – they get it.
They get that if we have too much, we can’t enjoy what we have.
They get that they can help others by giving.
And they want to give.
Not everything. Not as much as we would like. But something.
So pick a wet weekend and help them fill a bag or two for the charity shop.
4. Attack the Garage
I know, I know, you don’t even want to go there!
Heck, I don’t.
And I don’t have one!
Just a small decrepit shed at the bottom of the garden.
But utterly essential to the ancient art of decluttering, is somewhere to hide the things your family are not yet ready to part with, but which you are utterly determined will be gone by next year!
And the ancient art cannot be practised if said garage … or shed … is still full of all the stuff you hid from your little squirrels last year.
Sure, if you can sell it for more than thre’pence ha’penny – sell it. But if you didn’t find the time this year, you won’t next, so just get rid!
5. Cull the Kitchen
So, I’m guessing if you’re reading this, you’re no Martha Stewart.
You’re not even a wannabe 🙂
And you’re not gonna bake your way through Christmas.
But you are going to stock up. (Yes, yes, irony, irony!)
So start culling the kitchen and clearing the cupboards now.
And yes of course chuck out the battered biscuits (cookies) best before 2015.
But also, all that stuff you are just never ever going to use.
If feels like waste. But there is no refund. So again, get rid.
You need the space – and the head space – for Christmas.
6. Ditch Packaging
OK so this is totally cheating!
But if you’re utterly failing to convince your little darlings to declutter – and heh, they have memories and they’re important – just ditch the packaging!